A guide to letting go and feeling lighter after a breakup
Babe, are you still stuck on your ex-lover? Are you finding it hard to get them out of your head and move on?
This is common when relationships end.
If you ask anyone if they’ve struggled to move on, they will say yes. Humans are prone to attachment. Even to those things that aren’t good for us.
So if you’re looking for relief, I have 5 tips on how to get over a breakup to help you free yourself of your ex and start living a happier life.
Tip 1: Feel it to heal it
It’s hard to stay present with the emotions that arise after a breakup. We want to avoid places, people, songs, and even experiences that may remind us of our ex.
Why?
Because these things bring up uncomfortable feelings. But where do the feelings go if you don’t look at them? They sit inside you. They can become dormant, but they will not go away. This is why it’s so important to allow yourself to feel these emotions. You must feel it to heal it.
Create a safe space for yourself to go deeper into these emotions. Allow yourself to cry and express your emotions. Journaling is very helpful in organizing these emotions and thoughts.
Know that it’s safe to feel your emotions and that they’re not permanent. Name the emotions. Pick them apart, so they aren’t an unorganized mess inside your head. Unorganized thoughts can lead to chaos.
Tip 2: Self-talk & check-ins
Healthy self-talk is key in healing through breakups.
Regular check-ins and self-investigation are how we navigate through emotional and mental heaviness. It helps organize our lives.
Feelings of insecurity are common when we break up. It brushes up against past pain and triggers that hurt us all over again.
Asking ourselves “what’s hurting, and where?” is very helpful.
Investigate the insecurities that arise: where do they come from? Ask yourself, “what do I need to feel secure and loved? These insecurities have nothing to do with your ex, it’s about you.
Tip 3: Grieving and acceptance
Grieving is a time to say goodbye to the specific parts of the relationship that hurt to lose. That includes hopes and dreams you had, such as children or marriage. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of your relationship.
It’s okay to be sad and angry.
It’s important to reflect on why the relationship ended. Be real with yourself and look at the reasons why you two parted ways. Investigate why things didn’t work and the things that didn’t feel good during your time together.
Tip 4: Forgiveness and letting go
Jonathan Lockwood Huie said, “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness. But because you deserve peace.”
When we forgive, we free ourselves. Forgiveness can be difficult. Realizing it’s not for them but ourselves makes it much easier to do.
Whatever happened in your relationship, practice forgiving yourself first. Look into the mirror and say, “I forgive you. ‘It’s okay.” This practice is powerful and helps to release built-up shame and guilt. In time, you will be able to forgive your ex as well. This is a powerful first step to get over a breakup.
Tip 5: Explore new things
Now you’re single.
You have an opportunity to reorganize your time and prioritize yourself again.
This is a great time to try new things, see new places, and dive deeper into yourself. Explore things that interest you that you didn’t have time for before.
This could be anything from art, reading, or learning a new skill through an online course. You may try new experiences alone like having coffee or dinner by yourself or even traveling. This is a beautiful way to learn independence and regain confidence after a breakup.
Creating a daily self-love practice is another thing to explore if you haven’t already. Every day, write out the things you’re grateful for. Find what brings you joy.
When you feel stuck, you can release yourself from pain by filling your day with love. When you love yourself deeply, hard times do not linger. Relearning to love yourself without your partner is liberating.
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Following these tips will move you through the experience of the breakup into freedom.
So, to get over a breakup, be gentle, be patient. Emotions are not permanent. The sun will rise again.
Remember that every day is a new day and a new opportunity for you to grow through your pain.
Become the master of your emotions by turning your pain into beauty.
