As the month of love approaches, it’s interesting to explore some scientific facts about the whimsical feeling we experience when we first fall in love.
We all know by now that the feeling of love does not come from the heart (even though your heart beats faster and skips a beat when you see your crush); instead, it comes from our brain chemistry. Yes, indeed, our brain creates these hormones and neurotransmitters that make us feel all those feelings throughout our love journey. From attraction to settling down, all the emotions can be explained scientifically. I will briefly mention the hormones involved and some of our behaviours related to them.
Many scientists have tried to understand the process of love and how it all unfolds. While researching, I stumbled upon a lovely couple, 2 professors from Harvard, who have come up more than once in this type of research since they have studied love and how it evolves. Although love sometimes does not make sense, reading their explanations gives more sense to it. However, even they admit that we only know a bit about this crazy feeling since love has different phases and moods. In this article from the Harvard Gazette, they explain what they have studied in people and even give some lovely advice to the public.
Let's begin with the well-known hormones testosterone and estrogen, which are related to desire and the attraction phase. Testosterone (found in both women and men) boosts libido and assertiveness for pursuing the person we like. Estrogen involves the regulation of women’s sexual desire and also regulates the menstrual cycle. While testosterone is linked to confidence and estrogen is linked to fertility, it is believed these hormones can influence our mating behaviour. Testosterone and estrogen levels affect how we respond to each other's pheromones and what is attractive to us individually. The other person’s pheromones are intoxicating to you, and you may love how they smell, and the touch of their skin sometimes explains the most unexplainable reasons why you’re so infatuated with an individual.
Then, we have the neurotransmitters also involved in our attraction stage, such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. These give us warm and sweet feelings related to love. Dopamine is surnamed ‘the feel-good neurotransmitter’ because it simply does make you feel good, especially in the early stages of love, where excitement happens and we feel connected to our object of desire. We feel good and are filled with energy linked to our brain's pleasure and reward systems.
Serotonin plays a key role in regulating mood and overall well-being, helping to stabilize the emotional ups and downs often experienced in romantic relationships. When serotonin levels are imbalanced—something that frequently occurs during this stage—you may find yourself having obsessive thoughts or feelings about your partner. However, once serotonin levels are properly regulated, it can help alleviate your worries.
Norepinephrine triggers a rapid heartbeat, leaves your palms feeling clammy, and may cause your cheeks to flush with color when you're in the presence of someone you’re attracted to. This surge of adrenaline can create a rush of excitement and nervousness, often making heartbeats seem louder and moments feel more intense. Similar to adrenaline, it heightens alertness and arousal and increases blood pressure. It involves mainly the excitement of falling in love and is related to the physical symptoms of falling in love. You can read more about these neurotransmitters from this excellent Calm article.
Finally, we have the “love hormone”, or oxytocin, which is a hormone that promotes positive feelings and is associated with attachment. It is related to feelings of calmness, safety, trust, sexual arousal, good communication, and bonding time, which is why it’s also known as the cuddle hormone, and it’s an important hormone involved when having a baby as well. An interesting fact I saw from this article in the Healthline is, The more time you spend with your partner, the more oxytocin you produce; the more oxytocin you produce, the more you may desire your partner.
This absolutely makes sense since it feels so good to be next to the one you like/love and spend quality time together, and in turn, the relationship grows stronger and more profound.
Furthermore, oxytocin is released when spending time with friends and strengthening connections. The same applies to interactions with pets; they make us feel relaxed and happy. Petting dogs reduce stress levels, which is yet another reason why dogs are amazing.
I am by no means an expert on love, nor am I a scientist; I simply found this fascinating. Love is a rollercoaster that we have all felt, including its most heartbreaking moments. It is beautiful to embrace love and be vulnerable with people because, as humans, the connection we make with others is most rewarding and essential. It is important to cherish and show appreciation to your partner year-round, and no special occasion is needed; the special occasion is today, any day. Love is essential, and we must live a life filled with love for ourselves, our friends, our family, our communities, and the world.
